Sunday, July 22, 2018

Over-giving in relationships

People who are overly generous often amaze us with the extent of their giving. But what are the deeper implications of over-giving in relationships?

Generosity is natural for many of us as it feels good to help others. Over-giving however is different. This article explains the difference: How to know if you're a generous person or an over-giver

I'm intrigued by the emotional make-up of people who over-give, and did some research for the short story I'm writing. This article and the quotes below shed some light on this topic:
Being too generous could hurt your relationships

... over-givers and people pleasers go hand in hand. Over-givers use gifts as a way to gain and keep friends, because they think they need to be overly generous to be liked ... Most commonly, people who give too much are suffering from low self-esteem ... They think they have to rely on giving to be seen in a positive light ...

In my short story, a woman showers the man she's fallen for with expensive gifts, and devotes her time to gain his love. He is not physically attracted to her, but is taken by her generosity. Her over-giving works but at what price?  He cheats on her throughout their relationship ...

Just a teaser for you, readers. You will have a chance to dive into the emotional turmoil of these characters when my collection of short stories gets published. Writing is sometimes akin to acting but with words only. I need to get into the inner world of my characters, feel their conflicts deeply, to be able to relate the stories from their perspectives. Oscar Wilde in his 1889 essay The Decay of Lying, said, "Life imitates art far more than art imitates life." Does it matter which is more than the other? Life and art imitate each other interchangeably when you're an artist.

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